I have friends who've been ghosted. Heck, I'm married and I get ghosted all of the time by other parents who sign up to commit to something in my 4-H or homeschool groups and never tell me they're not going to show or offer an explanation later. It's super frustrating to be around other adults who can't seem to adult, but you move on. It's not fun, but it's not exactly as problematic in the dating world as, say, harassment, violence, coersion, and so forth.
Did you hear about the student who was asked to put on another shirt at school because her form was "distracting" to the boys in class? Yes, she was pulled out of class for not wearing a bra, while the boys weren't pulled out to be told to stop ogling. It gets worse. When the 17-year-old put on another shirt, she was asked to "jump around" to see what it would look like before being told to put band-aids over her nipples from the school nurse.
The old adage that girls mature faster than boys never seemed improbable to me. I was a first born daughter of three who was often mistaken as my sisters' parent, asked if I were going to college by age 10 and pretty much 50 years old by the time I was 14. I had no doubt that girls mature faster than boys.
The lack of visibility of black women in history, from literature to art to just about everywhere, is just as glaring as it's ever been but some artists are making strides to change that. Artist Harmonia Rosales' beautiful work is reimagining famous pieces, such as Michelangelo's "The Creation of Adam" and Sandro Botticelli's "The Birth of Venus," with the people she believes are least represented in history in place of white figures.
This morning I was reading a thread on Facebook and getting very angry. That's all Facebook is good for, right? In the thread, women were sharing stories about how they'd been denied sterilization because doctors told them they were too young to make up their minds about not having children--even in their 40s!
Did you know that 30% of women report pain during vaginal sex and over 70% have pain during anal sex? The numbers are likely higher, given how many women "suck it up" and "take one for the team" with a partner. Many women experience anything from discomfort to outright excrutiating pain that can even last for days during consensual sex and their partners don't even know about it.
As much of a fan of Michael Moore as I am, he's not correct when he maintains that women are all do-gooders who've never helped with war or destruction. It's true that men are mostly to blame but that's because they have most of the power. Women have had a hand in pure evil throughout time as well.
A few nights ago I was writing about sexual violence in films for a topic that was so disturbing to me that I had to get up and walk away several times. I ended up getting so sick, not just with thoughts of my own experiences of sexual violence but of so, so many others, that it carried over into the next day. Then I read a news story that was so disgustingly brutal about a man who raped an overdosed teen and left her to die while laughingly texting his friends about it and I felt immobile and so sick to my stomach I could barely do anything that day.
Uma Thurman has been one of my most ardent crushes for many years. I've loved her long before her Beatrix Kiddo days but now that I know the pain she underwent to make what were some of my favorite films of all time I'm not sure that I'll ever be able to stomach them again.
Most women who are or have been sexually active seem to have at least one "bad sex" story, if not several. The pressure, the coersion (yep, that's rape), the pain and the gritting your teeth just to get through it only to cry in the shower or bleed or feel shame hours or days later or even for weeks at a time... It's something too many of us know too well yet none of us wants to discuss it.