Domestic Violence Spikes Post Sporting Events

Thanks, patriarchy!

If we ever needed proof that fragile, toxic masculinity--not normal, positive masculinity but the stuff that white supremacy and capitalism have corrupted--is the worst, the news that domestic abuse increases dramatically over sport team losses is it. In England, when the country's team lost the World Cup, domestic violence surged a whopping 38%. Drawn matches have increased DV by 26%.

This is... mind-boggling. But it also makes sense. Looking at the cause of war throughout history, the causes of colonialism and genocide and mass violent behavior... is it not always related to patriarchal rage? Women are told they can't be leaders because they are "too emotional" while men forget that anger is one of the biggest emotions in existence. And then they take out anger... over a sports match... on actual people. Unbelievable--yet completely believable. It's like toddlers who hit and scream who never grow up. They just get bigger, with more power.

I'm at a loss here. The only thing I can think is that we need to adopt indigenous matriarchal styles of leadership. And I don't want to put everything on the shoulders of indigenous and Black women at all... but it's them who should be in charge. We should all be the workers who help and put in the labor, but we need to follow their lead.

How about some stories of hope? Where have you seen or helped in healing lately, or are there any good actions you can share in the chat? Are you running for office? Share links to support your work!

Pass the WHPA

Stop going after our bodies!

Is anyone else exhausted from fighting for just the basics of human dignity and autonomy? How about from the hypocrisy of a party claiming they stand for freedom and refuse to wear a mask yet want to be able to control bodies that can get pregnant? The Women's Health Protection Act has yet to be passed and while we still think the language is exclusionary and needs to be modified to include ALL people who can get pregnant, the fact remains that we have the opportunity to codify bodily autonomy and we need to do it NOW.

People with uteri, how do we go about this with so many anti-choice people still in office? Obviously getting rid of the filibuster is key but I'd love to know what's happening where you live. Where I live, bills to get rid of birth control coverage are up right now, and while we just defeated one there's another being fought yet and it's just like... when does it end?

I'd love to hear how your state defeated bills like these, especially if you're in a red state, and what other states need to do to get ahead of this issue once and for all. Share your tips and strategies in the chat.

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Supporting BIPOC Women

Share your actions in the chat

When Black History Month, Juneteenth and other historical days come and go, people often find themselves pushing to buy Black, donate to the NAACP, and take action when many don't throughout the year. This is really something we need to be doing all of the time, whether it means supporting everyone from local Black business owners to doctors and hair stylists to looking up Black businesses to buy the daily products you use from.

I completely get that many people can't do something every day, but we can always share a place to donate to or give a small business some love on social media. If you're going to buy a gift, why not search for it from a Black-owned business? The same goes for everything from clothing to personal care products--Etsy has so many Black-owned businesses to check out. We can also find smaller places to regularly give to that may not get as much love.

My favorite is Reparations Roundtable, which is run by Black marginalized genders and benefits BIPOC MaGes, collecting funds for immediate needs. I love that you can participate in any way that works for you--working to collect reparations on Twitter or Facebook, or even giving directly through their Patreon each week. They have levels for every budget.

How are you showing up for BIPOC MaGes in your daily life? Share your actions, places that could use some support and other links in the chat.

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Call For Building Infrastructure ASAP

America is woefully behind...

It's very frustrating to watch the leaders we just elected compromise across the aisle against the promises they said they'd deliver as they campaigned. While this is business as usual after an election, it's also urgent. Americans need relief, medical coverage, affordable college and an entire update to the 21s century ASAP!

Universal childcare, a minimum wage hike, paid family leave and more are on the table right now, which is why many of us are so nervous that they'll meet the chopping block, too. We need to amp up the pressure to get the polices we campaigned and voted for. Click here to learn more and write to Congress, asking that they'll ensure that we obtain these critical updates to our national infrastructure.

What other actions are you taking this week to support our communities and people? Share them in the chat.

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Pass The Women's Health Protection Act

But let's change the name to be more inclusive, shall we?

It seems like I say this sentence every single day. Men can get pregnant, too. Plenty of trans men, nonbinary and agender people have a uterus. We really need more inclusive language to pass this VERY important bill, the Women's Health Protection Act, which would protect the constitutional rights of everyone who can get pregnant.

The bill is designed to keep the government outside the uterus, period. It's a safeguard against abortion bans and restrictions and it needs to be implemented before further damage is done to the autonomy and reproductive freedoms are curtailed in even more areas.

Make no mistake: Every abortion is life-saving, whether it's literally saving the life of the host, saving the host from life-shattering expenses, career impediments, potential illnesses/disabilities/death from pregnancy (over 800 people die from pregnancy every day, or almost 300,000 annually), saving a child from being born into poverty, neglect, a life in the system or other unhealthy situations, and yes, even saving you tax dollars in the long run.

So if you are pro choice, please sign here to support this act and spread it near and far. If you're anti-choice, stop putting your nose into other people's private lives. It's gross and it makes the world worse. 

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Date Night Challenges

Which ones do you enjoy?

There are a bunch of fun date night challenges going around the Internet and I'd love to plan one for our upcoming anniversary. I'd like it to be inexpensive but fun, and the funnier or more creative, the better!

One that I think looks pretty fun is a challenge where you go to a dollar store or somewhere similar and give each other a small budget to find something for one another in different categories. Some of those include your favorite snack, color, something to do together, etc. It sounds like a fun challenge! Have you tried it?

What date night challenges do you recommend? Which do you think are overrated?

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The Best Podcasts

What do you listen to?

Doesn't it feel like podcasts are the new TV? If the number of great TV programs to check out wasn't intimidating enough, now there are hundreds, if not thousands, of podcasts to listen to, many of which are great quality (while some make you wonder how they ever made it to so many listeners in the first place). The most overwhelming part of it for me is when you find a new podcast you love but there are already several seasons to listen to.

Right now I'm listening to Come to Your Senses, History Shows Us and a few others, but that's probably all I can handle each week. I don't have a commute like many people do for listening to podcasts, and by the time my homeschooling, work and housework are all caught up, I don't usually even have the mental capacity for TV viewing! I think I choose reading instead because I am on a screen for much of my day, so a podcast is a bit better than just staring at that screen.

What podcasts do you listen to? Which ones do you think are the best? Share them in the chat.

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Commune Women’s Health & Happiness Summit

Sign up to learn major self-care tips

Have you heard of Commune's Women's Health & Happiness Summit? We're already on day three but you can sign up here to learn more and get the daily class links. The Summit is all about self-care and I'm already learning so much! During the first day, we learned all about a special type of self-massage as well as affirmations, lessons to change limiting beliefs and even a yoga session.

The Summit's lessons will all be available throughout the 10 days for free so you can revisit or catch up until it's over. I suggest taking notes because I've had much to jot down in just the first two days. 

Are you doing any self-love courses or work? Share your resources in the chat. 

Shaming Sexuality

Do you think women's sexuality will ever be accepted?

It baffles my mind that people still think that women don't like sex. My teen's friends were shocked when my kid told them they needed to respect one of their girlfriends when she told her boyfriend she was horny. They actually made fun of her in front of my teen, and dubbed her "weird" since "girls don't like that." Wow. If there's anything I wish I could change about the Internet, it's that pornographic content would lock for people under 18 since they can't understand it and then want to use it as the basis of their own sex lives. It's incredibly harmful--I'd say as harmful as abstinence-only sex ed.

And if it's not that, it's that women are simply too sexual. From "hot girl summer" to WAP, many men seem to want to criticize anything sexual women do that's for themselves after they've done it since... we can remember. As infuriating as it is to have your needs and desires met with such criticism and disbelief, I'm starting to think that these are just people who are lazy or bad at sex and need some excuse to not actually make an effort for their partners.

What do you think? Will this climate improve as many other facets of society have with the next generation?

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No, Pap Smears Do Not Lead To Sexual Fulfillment

Any other misconceptions to debunk?

Wow. Just... wow. My fellow uterus owners, today I saw a post going around where a person without a uterus seriously said that he expected a pap smear might be awkward because--I kid you not--it might make you moan. I'm so not kidding. This person thought that having your most sensitive body part pried apart with cold steel, then scraped for tissue samples, might somehow be erotic.

I just about barfed in my mouth. I have to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he's had a pleasant prostate exam and decided to compare it to that. They are apples and oranges, to be sure, but how would he know? Our sex ed is terrible and plenty of non-uterus owners are getting theirs by watching pornography, which is nothing more than a fantasy geared at the male gaze. Many women in pornography are super uncomfortable, and even in pain, to create this content and people need to know this before using it to "learn" from it.

No, pap smears aren't even comfortable, let alone sexy. (I would not say never, since bodies do unexpected things, but generally speaking; mine are painful and so are the ones my friends experience.) Stop saying you want to be the doctor to give us one. It makes us want you less. No, we don't get aroused from tampons, either. And breast exams? Forget about it. Again, uncomfortable at best, painful at worst, especially if a mammogram is involved.

What misconceptions have you heard about your body? Share them in the chat.