The New York Times Freakonomics blog is reporting that - in an announcement which surprises no one - in a couple situation, men are more likely to be behind the wheel.  According to the self-reported results, most women feel that they would rather be doing something else (I know that I prefer to knit than drive) and they feel that letting their husbands and boyfriends drive is an easy way to throw a sop to their easily bruised male ego.

That isn't me putting words into their mouths, by the way.  You can read the selection of women's responses at the original article here.  A lot of women seem to feel that it makes a man feel important to drive the car.  And that this is an easy way to help equalize the often tricky matter of negotiating the balance between egos and equitable sharing of life tasks.

The only problem with this is that, according to the male respondents, men don't actually feel this way.  Two thirds of the men who responded to the Freakonomics poll said that they would either prefer not to drive, or are neutral on the topic.  In other words, women have apparently manufactured a reason to get men in the driver's seat, while completely overriding men's preferences on the matter.

Let's be clear: this is every bit as bad as men who assume that their wives and girlfriends will do the laundry, or the cooking, or the cleaning, or the grocery shopping.  For chores where neither partner has a clear desire to perform, these should be split evenly down the middle.  This includes the driving.

What I find interesting is that women apparently did not poll their male partners before tossing them the keys.  Instead, they seem to be relying on cultural cues to determine who should be driving.  I can think of several television shows off the top of my head where the man prefers to drive, or where an emasculation joke is made out of the female star driving the car.

Listening to cultural queues rather than asking your partner?  Not a good way to go.  And as you can see from the Freakonomics respondents, this quickly breeds resentment.  "Men have to be pretty wealthy or prominent to have someone do all their driving for them, women get it for free," says respondent Kip.

Both genders report intense annoyance from the "feedback" which is often proferred by the non-driving party.  Women complain that men bully their driving style, and men complain about women nitpicking their driving style.  Nothing new there, although obviously this can be a factor on a couple by couple basis.  Maybe the non-driving partner would prefer to drive, and finds this not-so-sneaky way to get the message across.

The important thing to note about this kind of sabotage is that it even has to occur.  Why not ask her if she would rather drive?  Why not ask him if he would rather be behind the wheel?  If we truly want parity between the genders, then the question of who drives needs to become an equitable and negotiated part of our lives, just like everything else.