When I was a little girl, my mother always told me I had to love myself before I loved anyone else. I never really understood what she meant. Even during my sulky teen years, when I declared that I wanted to die, nobody understood me, blah blah blah, she would roll her eyes at me—and still tell me that I had to love myself. I’m really just now learning what the hell she was talking about. I do notice that when I'm a little nicer to myself, I'm a lot happier--and even more productive.

Both women and men are bombarded with reasons to hate themselves (and one another, of course) every day that really often don’t stem from ourselves at all. Relatives, well-meaning friends (and of course, friends in misery who love company), and especially the media are constantly telling us why we’re ugly, no good, and above all else, unworthy of being loved.

Is it solely because of these influences that we practice so much self-hate? No; there are a variety of factors involved and every person is different. That doesn’t change the fact that we all should take a proactive stance on loving ourselves and actually focusing on what’s good about ourselves instead of what’s wrong with us.

There are a couple of things I’m doing this season to help me on my own road to self-love. (Even the phrase “self-love” sounds rather offensive, doesn’t it? It brings to mind masturbating in a pile of rose petals or gazing adoringly into the mirror, mirror on the wall instead of how we should think on it.)

The first is the Self-Love Studio Series, which is featuring a number of teleseminars from various well-known authors and coaches. It’s free and fun, and though you’ve already missed talks from Mariel Hemingway and SARK, you can still listen in on tips from Kristine Carlson, Patricia Varley, Victoria Moran, and Christine Arylo.  

The other thing I signed up for is this amazing free E-Course called the Love and Marry Yourself Forever E-Course. A total of thirteen lessons delivered daily include meditations to reflect on, readings about self-love, and “fieldwork” assignments to do after the lesson.

A couple of other things you can do is try Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life (I bought myself a used copy for my birthday) or google affirmations based on what you want to bring into your life (such as “love affirmations,” “acceptance affirmations,” etc.).

How do you practice or think about self-love? Have you undergone a transformation from self-loathing to self-loving? And if so, how did you do it?