Fellow feminists, I'm going to say it again for emphasis: It is not your job to explain feminism.  As a feminist, it is your job to strive for equality between the genders, and to promote the cause of women wherever you see it flagging.  It is your job to keep yourself educated about the issues, and open to new ideas and information.

But it's not your job to explain it.

There are three reasons why asking someone to "explain feminism" is pernicious:

1.    You only ask someone to explain themselves if they're doing something you consider bad, wrong, or stupid.  "Explain feminism to me" is an aggressive stance, and one which has set a combative tone from the start.

2.    What's to freakin' explain?  What part of feminism does this person not understand?  It's not particle physics.

3.    By demanding an explanation, the questioner puts the burden of proof upon you, the feminist.  That's not where it belongs.  (See article title.)

4.    You are not feminism.  In the same way that they are not religion.  Feminism is a big topic, and asking you to speak for (in other words, answer for) it as a whole is unfair.  And clearly designed for failure.

Misogynists like to pretend that feminism is some cryptic, baffling thing.  Sometimes they like to bolster their beliefs by engaging with feminists and then deliberately refusing to understand (or believe) the answers.

You wouldn't think so, the way many non-feminists carry on.  (Note how I'm careful to keep it gender neutral.  One need only look to the women who form the basis of the Quiverfull movement to realize how many women are not feminists.)  Many non-feminists insist that you explain feminism to them.  And by "explain" of course you know they mean "argue."  And by "argue" you know they mean "shout my own misogyny back at you as loud as possible, while refusing to budge on the slightest thing."

You know that trap.  You've probably fallen into it before.  I know I have.  But I've learned my lesson: it's futile.

Before engaging someone in conversation about feminism I ask myself, "Self, is there any possibility that the other person's beliefs will be altered even the slightest by any possible conversation we might have?"  Because all too often the answer is "No."

You can pretty well judge whether or not you're going to have any kind of a fruitful conversation by the specific question being asked.  For example, if the question references "feminism" or "feminists," then you're probably SOL.  You may as well walk away, unless you truly believe that the other person has the best of intentions.

If that's the case, then you can try and gently explain that "feminism" is a big topic, and there's a broad spectrum, and not all feminists believe the same thing.  It's like asking someone to explain "religion."  It's a big tent, as they say.

If someone asks "How do you feel about issue X?" that's a great question, and there's a lot of potential for discussion there.  But remember, again, that nothing obliges you to have these conversations.  And if the other person is clearly just being an ignorant jerk, then why should you waste your time?

Creative Commons-licensed image courtesy of Flickr user natashalcd