Someone at Reddit linked to this great image today. It sums up so many concepts in one sweet little graphic! We have talked about the difficulties faced by the poor color pink; so vilified, such a touchpoint for controversy. But the same goes for all things "girly."
Too often, "girly" is used as a term of disapproval. By both men and women alike. And don't get me wrong: it's fine to like what you like, and vice versa. But disliking something just because it is too "girly" is an excellent example of what this graphic terms "internalized misogyny."
Things which are girly and feminine are only bad if you think that female things are bad. It seems obvious when you think about it, but I remember when someone first pointed this out to me, and how it blew my mind. Immediately followed by a severe bout of guilt, for ever having thought otherwise.
It's understandable to be outspoken in rejecting girly things, as I did for the first half of my life. I wanted nothing to do with anything girly, be it a hobby, a color, or an outfit. In hindsight I realize that I was just trying to enact a variation of the classic patriarchal bargain.
By rejecting things that were feminine, I was trying to put myself on the "winning team." But if you are female, you cannot by definition be part of the winning team. The best you can hope for is to curry the favor of the dominant paradigm. And what a terrible way to spend your life.
All I knew at the time was that I didn't want to be on the losing team. That's a natural impulse, especially for a strong-willed teenage girl trying to find her way in the world.
But eventually I realized that the true answer was obvious. If you don't want to be on the losing team, then instead of switching teams (or fruitlessly sucking up to the winning team), work hard to help your own team do better!
Also, understand that the entire concept of "winners" and "losers" is a wrong-headed one in this context. We strive not for female domination (the way the misogynists typically assume) but for equality on both sides of the aisle. And if we want equality, we have to be willing to stand up for all things feminine. The way to equality isn't to abandon the girly in favor of the masculine, but to be proud to be a girl!