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Asking For It? As If!

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sarajean's picture
Submitted by sarajean on

I heard about this campaign the other day, Erika--I bet we subscribe to the same blogs! :) --and fell in love with it. I'm absolutely sick of rape victims being blamed for being raped. I had a discussion with the friend of a friend about it, and his consensus was that it's not the victim's fault "unless she was drinking or something." Really? So if someone who is murdered is drinking, he or she was asking to be killed? It's absolutely absurd, and you're right--the same logic would never hold up if the tables were turned on men instead of women being blamed for crimes perpetuated against them.

There are so many things wrong with the homeowner scenario that I don't even want to touch it, not even with latex gloves.

Did you hear about that politician--I forget her name--who was saying she was against abortion, even in cases of rape or incest, because she's a Christian and believes that "God has a plan"? Do you think she could actually approach a 10-year-old who'd been raped by her uncle, pregnant, and say, "It's okay, sweetie, God meant for you to be raped?" Utterly ridiculous. 

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

The basic idea is this: rape is ALWAYS a crime. But ladies, if you want to decrease your chances of being victim to a sexual assault, then think carefully about what you wear. Humans are animals (yes, biologically, they are animals). Dangle a piece of meat in front of even the best-trained dog, and eventually, the dog is still likely to go for it, perhaps even aggressively. Rape is always a crime, but women can reduce their chances of falling victim to it if they try not to dangle themselves in front of men like fresh meat. I'm a woman, and I fully believe that this is true.

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

So you're basically saying that men are incapable of self-control, and can't stop themselves having sex with anything which is remotely exposed. Therefore it is the woman's responsibility to make sure that a rapist does not rape her. Why not dress women up in Burqas? Then men will have no temptation to resist!

 

Women should not be the ones obligated to change their behaviour. Rapists should be the people changing. Women shouldn't be living in fear and dressing in ways they don't like on the off chance that some bastard will jump out of the bushes.

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

True, women shouldn't have to change the way they look, but we should be aware of potential factors. There is no way any rape victim asked for it, but if a girl is going out late dressed like a hooker that will probably increase her risk. On the contrary, dressing in baggy clothes doesn't eliminate your risk, and the phrase 'she asked for it' should never be used to belittle a victim.

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

It is just rediculous to think that because you wear a little skirt of a little shirt that you have a sign on your head that says rape me. So if your grandmother got raped while in her bed asleep is that her fault because she was wearing her night gown that had pink flowers? If your 14 year old daughter was raped would it because she was carrying a blue book bag and her shoes matched? Well sounds stupid but is that what folks are saying now?

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

I hope you can figure out the difference between a woman in a pink nightgown and one dressed like a stripper.

Lydia's picture
Submitted by Lydia on

So if the woman really is a stripper or a hooker, it's ok to rape her? I guess sex workers have the same right not to get raped as regular women.

Anonymous Coward's picture
Submitted by Anonymous Coward on

Nice strawman argument there...you'll notice that the person you replied to said no such thing.  You and yours are more than willing to put words in an opponent's mouth though, aren't you?

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

Are you serious? Biology is one thing, but culture dictates much of what we think defines "gender" or "sex". You undermine men and women in your sweeping generalization and it's offensive.

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

Are you freaking serious? Your friend honestly thinks a woman is to blame for being raped if she was drinking? 

So if a guy is right hammered, that's his prerogative... but god forbid women try to have fun too!

Far as I'm concerned I should be able to pass out stone cold, half naked on the livingroom floor of a frat house without being raped. Until I can do that we have a big effing problem.

I'm not saying that I want to dress like a hooker, drink til I pass out, or hang around frat boys... all I'm saying is that my ability to choose to do those things should NOT be hindered by the risk of being raped.

I am so bloody sick and tired of people telling me all the things I can do to keep myself from getting raped. We don't need to be told these things - we freaking know! But no one bothers to think about what men can and ought to do to keep themselves or their friends from raping someone. 

Here's an idea: if you see a woman who is dressed like a complete hooker but decides that she does not want to have sex with you - don't rape her. Pretty simple isn't it?

And those who make arguments like men can't control themselves - I'm sorry but I would like to believe that most men have some shred of human decency!!! Let's not treat men like they are a bunch of animals and let's not treat women like they're pieces of meat. We are not those things. We are human beings - men and women - and we need to treat one another that way.

Anonymous Coward's picture
Submitted by Anonymous Coward on

So...if a guy gets good and blitzed, and he commits a sexual assault, is he guilty of it?  You seem to be saying that a woman who goes out and gets smashed out of her mind is in no way responsible for what happens to her, but that a dude in a similar situation is.  You can't have it both ways, as much as you'd like to.

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

I am a guy. I think rape is a horrible thing. With that in mind, if a girl gets raped while dressed like a cheap hooker, I just can't feel nearly as upset by it as a girl who was dressed modestly. Your choice of clothing says more about you than your voice ever will, and if your clothes scream "do me," it should be obvious that you're way more likely to either be sexually harrassed or worse.

Miss. Kay's picture
Submitted by Miss. Kay on

So you're saying that if a woman is dressed provocatively a man cannot help himself but to rape her? Do you rape every girl you see in a shirt skirt? I'm betting you don't, because you have self control.

If you had a really nice sports car and it was stolen would you be blamed for having such an attractive car that someone couldn't help themselves but to steal it? That you shouldn't have left it out at night? That you hould have put a cover over it so it wouldn't be so enticing to others? How could another man resist committing a criminal act after seeing your car in a prone situation?

No, your motives would not be questioned at all, because blaming a victim for a crime is really stupid. We understand that, as a culture, about theft. But about sexual assault? Our first questions are usually about the victim, if she was doing everything she 'should' to keep herself 'safe' from becoming a victim.

Victim blaming makes no sense, how about we attempt blaming the criminal, instead of arguing whether the criminal was enticed into committing his crime. We do it for all sorts of other crimes. Makes sense to apply the same logic to these ones.

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

When women dress provacatively in public, I assume they are much more willing to have sex with strangers than those dressed modestly. Some men (especially when drunk) see this as an invitation. If you dress like a slut and you act like a tease, stupid drunk men are more likely to want to have sex with you, and if they are so blinded by desire that they won't listen to their conscience, it is going to happen. It's the simple truth, and I don't know what's unclear about it.

I would not be so foolish as to leave a porsche out in my driveway. If I owned a car like that and took it out, I would have it vallet parked so it would be under supervision while in public. If I could afford a car like that, I would probably have another car that I wouldn't mind leaving unattended anyway.

The idea that you can compare breaking into an unlocked house with raping someone dressed provacatively is fairly similar in my mind. I do not see it as property crime vs. violent crime. I see it as tempting a criminal. Police use bait cars left running in bad neighborhoods, and they also use undercover women as fake prostitutes. If an undercover cop dressed in a pantsuit or something and went out on the street, I doubt she would be very effective at busting people looking for a hooker.

You cannot simply expect individuals to behave themselves and go around doing whatever you want. There is a reason stairwells have corner mirrors, parks have emergency call boxes, and you can buy pepper spray and tasers at wal-mart. It is in your best intrest to take whatever measures you can to protect yourself. If you buy a cute skirt because you think it will drive a certain guy wild, know that it will probably effect more than just him. Maybe it would be best to wear something else if you're going out somewhere alone.

I do NOT blame the victim for something that is clearly someone else's fault. I DO, however, question the intelligence of one who would knowingly go out into what is obviously an imperfect world and expect people to behave in ways we know they do not.

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

a. Fuck you

b. fuck you

c. fuck you

d. Fuck you, My primary consideration when getting dressed shouldn't be what assholes like you think about my body.

e. fuck you, women, surprise, suprise, dress 'provacatively' for a variety of reasons, many which don't a fucking thing to do with men.

f. fuck you, if drunk men assume women are available for sex by how they dress, and then won't take no for an answer, that doesn't make the woman even mildly responsible, it only makes the drunk men total fucking assholes.

g. fuck you, if fuckheads like you say women have to dress modestly to prevent rape, why the fuck don't men have to NOT FUCKING RAPE to prevent rape.

h. fuck you

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

I don't think I really deserved any of that based on what I've said.

If I was a judge, you better believe I'd prosecute a rapist to the full extent of what I could give him. If I could, I'd give him life in prison. Hell, if it was my own daughter, I'd probably be pretty tempted to take the guy out back and beat him to death myself. That's not the point of anything I've said.

Any time you drive, you are at risk of getting into an accident. Do you drive 120 mph in a convertible with no seatbelt? No, because it's a really fucking stupid thing to do (there is a reason a corvette is proportionally more expensive to insure than a minivan). Driving a safe speed in a safe car with your seatbelt on reduces the chance that you will die horribly in an accident. In the same way, wearing more modest clothes, carrying something like pepper spray, or going out with a large group of friends that won't leave you alone with a stranger may prevent you from being raped. I'm not saying that makes it impossible to get raped, but I am saying it will reduce your risk of becoming a victim. The world can be a horrible place, and if you act without thinking and without a backup plan, it can have an effect on the well being of yourself and others.

To sum up my position in an easy to understand way... Rape is horrible, and I don't believe it is ever the victim's fault. HOWEVER, you can reduce your risk of becoming a victim by taking precautions.

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

Yeh but No but.

I'm a male too, and I 'get it'.

I don't own women, it's really that simple.

So, do I look, Yes, of course I do, and Women look at men too, but at no point do I mentally claim ownership, especially the specific ownership of their sexual organs!

Call me old-fashioned, but surely the first steps after the attraction phase is to see whether it's a two- way street, if not, move on neither owns the other

If it is, then the next phase is seeing how you get on, not whether she will jump into bed or not.

and it goes on from there, the point being at no time, even should the pair get married is there ownership of her in the way that rape is.

If men cant keep it in their pants, then IMO they should have it chopped off, they are an embarrassment to the human race.

Shea's picture
Submitted by Shea on

The world needs more men who spread this message.  It's very simple, isn't it?  The anonymity of the internet makes it difficult for me to buy you a drink, but I wish I could.

Anonymous Coward's picture
Submitted by Anonymous Coward on

Are you sure?  If it's true, you're one of the biggest manginas I've ever faced.  Congrats.

Things the guy said:  protect yourself because the world is a shitty, shitty place.  Don't dress like an idiot, because yeah, you have the right, but when something bad happens, and you didn't do what you had to to protect yourself, it IS partially your fault whether you like it or not. 

Your argument seems to be something akin to "I don't use a condom, but I have the right to not get STDs, and if you say otherwise, you're an asshole."  Yeah, you have the right, but again, protect yourself, because the person you're fucking might not subscribe to your worldview.

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

When you say take "precautions" what exactly do you mean.

Should we wear burkas or dress like amish? How many girls do you think get raped at parties wearing JEANS? I think a lot. Even more so if they are mousy and modestly dressed because once they pass out they are less likely to be forward or blame anyone but themselves.

You think that clothing is an invitation??? So all Miss America's want to get raped?

Ur just so dumb, you think the only people who get raped at parties are slut dressing teases? That's so unfair to women and the reality of who actually is getting raped here.

Men TAKE ADVANTAGE of PASSED OUT WOMEN. That's rape, no matter what they are wearing.

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

Precautions are not just the way you dress. Its going out with a group of friends. Not being out walking the street late at night. Generally girls who wear low cut shirts want to be noticed as attractive, it doesn't mean we're easy, but there are men who misconstrue it that way. There are ignorant people in this world, and to them muslims are terrorists, asians are good mathematicians, and women in short skirts are easy. We can't get rid of rapists. We can take precautions

ballman's picture
Submitted by ballman on

if someone is saying no, that means no, end of fucking story. clothing dont talk, people do. and if no is not enough then that just goes to show systemic the problem really is

Anonymous Coward's picture
Submitted by Anonymous Coward on

You're right, of course, but does that mean that every guy who's slobbering drunk (and even some who aren't) actually give a shit what you think?  Of course not, and your telling people they have the right to do whatever they feel like without protecting themselves is just sheer stupidity. 

Tsad Jatko's picture
Submitted by Tsad Jatko on

Tell us - just why do you insist on dressing like a whore? Really I'd like to know exactly why you think dressing like a whore is something you need to do - after all why do you think whores dress like they do? It's not to attract unichs my dear.

Shea's picture
Submitted by Shea on

First of all: "Eunichs."  

Secondly, yes, dressing provocatively is sexual--although the intended beneficiaries of that sexiness may be other women.  Or a woman could be trying to feel sexy in a general way, sheerly for her own benefit.  OR she could be trying to get the attention of men.  (Though not all men, indiscriminately.  You can never assume that YOU are the intended audience.)  

Here's the thing:  A sexually active woman is NOT a free-use sex object.  Just like a man, a woman has the right to be a sexual agent--that is an autonomous subject, not an object.  Her three options should not be (1) play asexual, (2) cede her sexuality to one man, or (3) surrender her sexuality to all men (which seems to be your assumption when she dresses like a "whore").  I will exaggerate to make a point: If a woman has sex under her own power with hundreds of man, that does not in any way lessen the violence of having her power taken from her through rape.

To get away from "crimes of property" analogies that are so problematic in this case, let's just say that there is a huge difference between travel and being kidnapped.  Going places of your own volition is not the same as being taken there against your will.  Get it?  

So, if I wear a short skirt, with the intention of seducing a partner for the evening (because--shocker--I LIKE SEX), I am in control, and it is my right.  The sad thing is that so many men still can't stand to see a woman in control of her own sexuality; they feel justified appropriating that power through violence.  Your attempt to shame women who "feel the need to dress like whores" is an attempt to get them to cede their power, which is only a step removed from taking their power by force. I encourage you to examine your assumptions, so that you do not continue to be part of the problem.

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask men to abide by the following standards: When you encounter women (clad in business suits or bikinis, at church or in bars) assume that they have their own unique motivations that you cannot know without knowing them.  Like men, they are entitled to these motivations.  Appreciate their beauty or their brains if you want, but realize that their bodies and minds are for them; you are not entitled to their assets.  Realize that their full humanity is not a threat to yours.  Feel free to develop relationships with them, if both they and you want to.

Any questions?

 

 

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

It's actually "eunuchs."

Nathan's picture
Submitted by Nathan on

I just wanted to say, Shea, I think your comment is one of the more well articulated comments here. I think often in these discussions about rape and who is to blame (victim or aggressor) people equate all women to whores and all men to rapists. But there's a truth here to what you said that goes beyond the issue -- the term "full humanity."

We are all people trying to get in touch with our full humanity and just because there are rapists out there doesn't mean that the lifestyles and clothing of all women should change to account for that, just like I don't alter my actions after dark just because there might be a murderer out there. Blaming a woman for being raped because she was wearing a short skirt and a tube top is a line of logic which just doesn't make sense to me. It would be like blaming someone who got murdered while walking the streets at 2 a.m.

People should be able to walk whenever and wherever they want, just like a woman should be able to wear whatever she likes. She shouldn't be looking in her closet thinking, "Well, I'm going to the club, if I wear a short skirt I might get raped, I better go with the pants." That's not something our society needs. We built this country on freedom, and she should be able to wear whatever she likes.

Also, I dunno if my gender is relevent to this discussion, but I'm a guy. I've also stared at women wearing revealing clothing at the bar. However, I'm obviously not a rapist and those people who are should be deplored by society, brought to trial and thrown away in prison. We should and cannot blame the victim, but we can blame the douchebag who went ahead and committed the crime.

We shouldn't alter our lives based on a preceived danger and we shouldn't blame those who did not alter their lives because of that preceived danger. We can't live in fear and we shouldn't expect anyone else to.

Anon's picture
Submitted by Anon on

you cannot ask sick fucks to abide by those standards.  It doesn't work.  Most of the comments make some mention of how these awful people need to learn to respect women, and the rights women have to act in whatever way they feel.  I am with all those comments 100%, that is if we were talking about a perfect world.  But i feel a lot of those commenting arent taking into account that we are in an imperfect world.  And many of these sick assaulters fully understand that everyone deserves rights, but they dont care.  It's the reason, as a male, i dont go for walks at night, i go out with friends to a party, to ensure that if i were to get ripped and pass out, they can take care of me, regardless of if someone to to assualt me or not.  I am well aware of the dangers around me and i take precautions to keep myself as safe as i possibly can, though its true ill could befall me no matter what precaution i take That is not my pass to do whatever i want.  I feel i could say 100 times that "if i wish to walk through the park by my house at night, i should have the right to do it without fear of being robbed and potentially assaulted", and i fully believe i should have that right, but i wont, because there will always be assholes about, and wishing them to educate themselves is useless, because it wont happen.  the world is a depraved place and we need to traverse it in the safest way possible regardless of how we wish things to be.  Thank you for allowing me to comment.  I sincerely wish we lived in a world without these fears.

LibrarianGirl's picture
Submitted by LibrarianGirl on

To start with, I am appalled by how your arguments have been progressing from bad to worse. Secondly, I'm not entirely sure I dress like a "whore" very often, but if and when I do it is certainly my right to do so. I would like to believe that men have a certain level of self-control, and if they choose not to rape they will not rape. My clothing will have nothing to do with it. I also do not believe that men are somehow incapable of controlling themselves if they are drunk and/or overcome with lust. I know many women, myself included, who have higher sex drives than our partners and we can control ourselves. Being male is not a free pass.

And if I dress a certain way, I am doing it because I want to. If I am dressed provocatively, I might be doing it because I like how I look, because I want my partner to enjoy how I look, or if I were single, because I want to attract another man or woman. But if I want to attract another person, I also have the right to decide that I am not interested in that person - and he or she should then leave me alone. Again, people have self control, and it's not like I'm leaving a raw steak in front of a hungry tiger. I expect nearly every human being to be able to look at something or someone they want and acknowledge that they might not be able to have it. I have seen very attractive men dressed in ways that I have found very appealing and I have not seen that as an excuse to rape them. Why should I not expect men to behave the same way?

Finally, why are you so upset about women "dressing like whores"? Women are raped and harassed in any type of clothes - it truly does not matter - but it is disgusting how people use clothing as an excuse for rapists. In most places, women have the legal right to dress more or less how they want, and while some things are more appropriate for certain situations, it really isn't your place to worry about how they dress.

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

"I expect nearly every human being to be able to look at something or someone they want and acknowledge that they might not be able to have it."

Absolutely, LibrarianGirl. There seems to be  an entitlement complex which suggests if you dress like "this" you want "that" where physically complementary clothing automatically translates to "slut who wants it." Personnaly, I dress pretty modestly, but if I wear form-fitting clothing for a special occassion, it does not make me any less married or monogamous which I make clear to anyone who needs to know.

As most women know, you needn't dress like a "whore" to end up with some unwanted attention. Many women dress to feel good about our body or (gasp!) to impress other fashionable women--we shouldn' have to wear burlap sacks to indicate we aren't looking for sex. I've been suprised at what some people consider "revealing" in cases where a woman isn't even showing a  lot of skin, but wearing a dress with a shape-defining fabric or something similar.

You point out that certain locations have certain dress expectations and I agree. Properly fitted clothes on a woman with an attractive body will show her shape less than a swimsuit would at a beach, so why is that more "provacative" at one location versus another? All the "dressed like a whore" comments I see seem to imply that women should not go to bars or clubs in appealing clothing, when those are the very environments where that is a more commonplace locales for women to expressively dress, whatever their motive may be.

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

just takes once sugar dressing like a whore that is

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

hahahaha wow thats a great argument there. you must be a real genius

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

you're the reason why feminism has such a bad name. I'm going to address your idiotic comment letter by letter.

A-C: Completely unnecessary in any intellectual debate, or even conversation. Grand total of times the word 'fuck' is used: 12

D: "assholes like you" / Why is he an asshole? He clearly disapproves of rape. More personal attacks.

E: When someone dresses provocatively, they are doing it to attract sexual attention. End of story.

F: He NEVER said women are responsible. "I do NOT blame the victim for something that is clearly someone else's fault." I agree that a rapist is an asshole, and a detriment to people everywhere, but WHY was this even addressed here?

G: What do you want us to do? Everyone knows rape is wrong. If I could snap my fingers and end all sexual assault, I would. But the fact is that rape does happen and you're putting yourself at risk by dressing a certain way, putting yourself in certain situations, and even acting a certain way. I'm sorry, I really am, but that's the world we live in. And you can go on feminism websites and curse and swear at men all day long if you want to, but that won't solve the problem.

 

 

Amy's picture
Submitted by Amy on

"When women dress provacatively in public, I assume they are much more willing to have sex with strangers than those dressed modestly."  When you assume you make an ass out of you and me, but mostly you.  NEVER ASSUME,dumbass.

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

Welp ladies, no more bathing suits for us! From now on, swim in a wetsuit! If you don't, you're just ASKING to be whisked away from the pool and raped. Men obviously can't control themselves, they're just animals that can talk. Make sure YOU take precaution for THEIR actions. Because, you know, they own you and the way you should dress. And that includes swimsuits, because you're in "skimpy" clothing and deserve whatever you get for tempting them.

 

Oh wait, men do have brains? Men can control themselves? Men don't have a monopoly on women's modesty? Women's shouldn't have to change THEIR ways to prevent a MAN's actions? OHHHH wow, that makes much more sense.

 

Ingy's picture
Submitted by Ingy on

Thank you for this comment. It encapsulates what I've been thinking while reading the comments, only expressed much better.

I'm a women, but I know men who are feminists.

Anyone who seriously thinks a women asks for rape because of the way she dresses obviously doesn't think that highly of men.

 

Anonymous Coward's picture
Submitted by Anonymous Coward on

This is really funny to me, because the person she (yep, another assumption...does that make an ass of me?) replied to said nothing of the sort.  Of course, you feminists don't really care, do you?  You'd rather feel foolishly justified than trying to understand what people who disagree with you are actually saying.  Good luck in life, 'cause you're gonna need it.

Anonymous Coward's picture
Submitted by Anonymous Coward on

Nice strawman:  I see it burns up easily.  Isn't it nice when you can burn an argument that was never made to pieces and wind up looking smarter than the other person?  You're an absolute genius, truly.

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

but thats just the thing, many men think like he does. people assume. arguing won't change the fact that women who dress provocatively do just that. 'provoke' is the root of the word, and dressing provocatively is to provoke thoughts based on your clothing. You can't control whether those thoughts are good or bad

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

also (i made the comment above) when you argue, set aside your passion and look at the others perspective, the answer is almost never black and white, and you are almost never completely right

Tsad Jatko's picture
Submitted by Tsad Jatko on

No one would blame a child for getting hit by a car if he was playing on the sidewalk, but if he was playing in the street well then who would say he wasn't asking for it ? I see no difference. Rape occurs  under many totally different circumstances but saying someone is making themselves a target is just that - a statement of truth, not of blame. That is just common sense and to couch it as a bigotry as this article does is what is wrong with feminism today...I don't see the feminists standing up for Jerry Brown calling Meg Whitman a whore - instead just hours after the incident was made public they came out in support of Brown's candidacy never commenting on the recorded message...they are the hypocrits.

Tsad Jatko's picture
Submitted by Tsad Jatko on

No one would blame a child for getting hit by a car if he was playing on the sidewalk, but if he was playing in the street well then who would say he wasn't asking for it ? I see no difference. Rape occurs  under many totally different circumstances but saying someone is making themselves a target is just that - a statement of truth, not of blame. That is just common sense and to couch it as a bigotry as this article does is what is wrong with feminism today...I don't see the feminists standing up for Jerry Brown calling Meg Whitman a whore - instead just hours after the incident was made public they came out in support of Brown's candidacy never commenting on the recorded message...they are the hypocrits.

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

There is a big difference between hitting a child who was playing in the street with your car and raping someone who was dressed provacatively. In the first situation, the child may have been asking for it, but the driver probably hit the child by accident because they werent expecting to see a child playing in the street. In the second situation...well you don't ACCIDENTALLY rape someone. It is still a deliberate choice to commit a crime and violate someone's body.

To say these situations are the same is like saying that men have absolutely no control over their sexual impulses and have no choice but to rape someone when they are dressed provacatively. If this is true, maybe women should just wear tents to cover up their entire bodies? I know of a culture/religion that enforces that idea...

OjnoTheRed's picture
Submitted by OjnoTheRed on

That advertisement sounds very thought-provoking.  A great way of getting a simple point across - if a woman is "dressed to impress" or to attract a sexual partner, sex without consent is still rape.  I think that's what many sexist trollers fail to get - the idea that somehow a woman might want to appeal for a sexual partner but be in control of it is just too much for them.

The other thing about the troll who used the house analogy - apart from it being offensive because a property crime just can't compare to rape - is that my answer to him would be ... errrrr, actually, no I'd still blame the burglar for the burglary.  Where I live we often leave our doors unlocked - in the country they just never lock them, nor their cars.  Borrowing your unlocked car without permission is still grand theft auto.

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

"Burglary is a property crime.  Rape is a violent crime, and has more in common with other violent crimes like murder."

This is 100% incorrect. Rape is also a property crime, exactly the same as burglary.

Men are the superior race and if they want to have sex with you, they will.

If you want to avoid such an experience, wear unappealing clothing. It's not that hard.

I guarantee that 90% of the women who get raped give off the impression to the rapists through their clothing choice or how they act. Women: Stop acting like sluts and earn our respect and we won't rape you.

And if you are murdered, it is partially your fault. You obviously weren't in the right area, you were leaving yourself vulnerable, or you pissed someone off. You messed up 80% of the time if you were killed. Most murderers don't just kill random people, just like rapists.

Robyn's picture
Submitted by Robyn on

So what I'm hearing (from men, naturally,) is that any woman who is raped was asking for it. I guess that's true. After all, we did ask to be born, and we did specify that we wanted to be born into a world controlled be neanderthals and troglodytes who think we're only there for their own use and pleasure. So I can see your point (it is rather obvious, since it's right there on the top of your pointy-headed bodies).

You know, when I'm dressing to go out, I rarely consider what men are thinking. I dress for other women, not for men. It makes no difference, though, whether I'm wearing a miniskirt and a tank top, or a baggy old sweatsuit. I AM NOT YOUR TOY. My body is my domain, not yours. Any man who approaches me with any kind of violence on his mind would do well to consider that besides my makeup and other incidentals, my purse also holds a 10mm automatic pistol, and I am a qualified sharpshooter. If I were to kill you, I seriously doubt your last thought would be "Oh, well. I guess I deserved it. I am, after all, a man."

What is so wrong with you, anyway? Are you defending rapists because you know deep in your heart that you wish you could get away with it? AFter reading all of your lame nonsensical ramblings on rape, that's the only thing I can conclude. And it makes me believe the old joke about transgenders: Why is the transition from a woman to a man more dangerous thatn transitioning from a man to a woman? Because when you're going from a woman to a man, the final stage is the neurosurgery where the doctor removes half of your brain.

chasek8's picture
Submitted by chasek8 on

Have you lost your fucking mind.....I woke up this morning and I stumbled across this page and started reading. I found the ad to be compelling and a great idea, it gets attention that is eserved and required. Then there are people like you "Annomyous" who I must ask, "Have you lost your fucking mind?"

At what point should clothing choice take presidence over a verbal refusal of sex. What makes an outfit or attitude DESERVE rape? I have great legs I wear short skirts, do I deserve to be raped? I am hoping that your post is simply a sick joke, and even if it is you are one FUCKED up dude...honestly it is people like you and commonets like the ones you made that cause rape.

I don't know where this sick, controlling attitude comes from but apparently something is wrong with your fucking head and I am disgusted....How would you feel if someone raped your mother? gandmother? daughter? sister? girlfriend (which I doubt you could have with that sick attitude)? Would they have been asking for it?

Perhaps these "Rapists" do choose their victims based on the clothing they wear or the way they act, but then they should learn some self-fucking-controll, we as women dress as we like for a reason and I personally am NOT going to change that because some CREEP like you can't keep it in his fucking pants. I am disgusted by you and your comments, you are a pitiful excuse for a man.

No matter what you wear or how you act no one deserves to be raped...EVER! Perhaps it is considered prevention to dress more modestly btu why should we have to change the way we dress and in turn the person we are because some creep in a bar thinks that "no means yes"???? I am truly disgusted by these sexitist comments and your total lack of respect.

Women dress this way not only for attention (NOT IN THE FORM OF RAPE), but for themselves so they feel sexy....and sorry but there is NOTHING sexy about rape....I would like for you to define for me how a piece of clothing causes a woman to act like a slut....because in my eyes a SLUT would be willing and it wouldnt be rape IDIOT!!!! To go on further in to your idiotic thougts yes there maybe preventive measures to rape and murder but the truth comes down to the fact that the rapist or the murder MADE A CHOICE....I dont chose to rape or kill you (although I don't think it would be such a loss to wipe an opinion like that off this earth) I KNOW right and wrong, as does every other human being on this earth.....ITS A CHOICE MADE BY THE CRIMINAL, NOT THE VICTIM......once again I am sorry but you truly make me sick!!!!

 

*Sorry I was so angry that my thoughts were all over the place*

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