Are there two kinds of cheating?

Governor SanfordCheating (on your spouses or significant others, not on tests) is responsible for a large number of break-ups in the US and by some reports, is actually the second leading cause for divorces in the United States. The NY Times recently had a short commentary piece examining a video of some of my favorite people: Gov. Sanford, Mitt Romney, and Graham who were all guests on "Meet the Press" talking about extra-marital affairs and Governor Sanford's in particular.

David Brooks, a columnist for the Times, basically said that hypocrisy is ok in our leaders because at least we have a moral code to follow (even if it is not always followed) and that there are two kinds of cheaters: " There is the one-night-stand sort of adultery — the guy who wanders off with a series of youngish women so he can feel like a dashing playboy. Then there is the deeply-in-love sort of adultery."

David Brooks, who may or may not have personal experience with these types of things, argues that both kinds of adultery are damaging to the family, but that the "sleazy" adultery is somehow more acceptable and less damaging to the wife (and therefore the marriage) than the "falling in love adultery". Hmmmm, big words from a big columnist.

I think he is absolutely wrong about hypocrisy being acceptable in our elected leaders. Whether or not adultery should be grounds for losing your office is one thing, but where does an elected official get off legislating moral behavior that he himself can't even follow. For this example, look to Larry Craig, who is more than likely a closeted gay man who vehemently opposed every single piece of gay legislation that crossed his path. Governor Sanford himself was certainly no social liberal on family values, yet jeopardized his Governorship for the "falling in love aldultery", which is supposedly the lesser of two "evils".

As for the distinction between the two artificial types of adultery, I believe that cheating definitely has shades of gray, but would it really make a wife feel significantly better than her husband was soliticing prostitutes or cavorting with Interns? Are there really two kinds of adultery or can they be lumped into one great big giant sum? Basically, is cheating always cheating? And is one kind of cheating more available to a man than a woman? How many male prostitutes are availabe to take care of an older woman's needs if her husband is not "doing the job"? Isn't this just another form of hypocrisy?